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Have you ever left a doctor’s appointment feeling smaller than when you walked in? Maybe you cried in your car. Maybe you replayed the conversation all evening. Maybe you rewrote your symptoms in your phone, trying to sound clearer — calmer — more convincing next time. If that’s happened to you, you’re not alone. In my Los Angeles therapy practice, I sit with many adults navigating chronic illness, invisible conditions, and healthcare anxiety. One sentence I hear again and again is: “I wasn’t taken seriously.” In recent years, this experience has been described as medical gaslighting — when symptoms or concerns are dismissed or doubted without appropriate evaluation (Faytong-Haro, 2025). Sometimes dismissal is overt. Other times it’s subtle — a tone shift, a quick redirection, a diagnosis that feels too fast. Often, it reflects systemic pressures in healthcare: limited time, bias, stigma, diagnostic uncertainty. And for many people — especially women, people of color, transgender and nonbinary individuals — racial and gender bias can shape whose pain is believed and whose symptoms are minimized. Research consistently shows disparities in pain treatment and diagnostic timelines across race and gender. These patterns aren’t theoretical. They show up in exam rooms. Whether intentional or not, the impact can linger. When your doctor doesn’t listen, it doesn’t just affect your body. It can begin to erode trust in yourself. Navigating complex systems. When Something Inside You Starts to Split There’s something inherently vulnerable about medical appointments. You’re talking about your body. You’re asking for help. You’re trusting someone with authority. When your experience is minimized, an internal split can form: “Something feels wrong.” “But they’re the expert… so maybe I’m overreacting.” Research on illness invalidation shows that dismissal by medical professionals is associated with increased psychological distress, especially for people managing chronic or complex conditions (Woldhuis & Gandy, 2024). When I step back and look at this from a systems lens, I can’t ignore how much hierarchy, bias, and stigma shape healthcare. Racial bias. Gender bias. Assumptions about whose pain is credible. In a city as diverse as Los Angeles — across race, culture, language, and gender identity — those disparities don’t feel abstract. They show up in tone, in timing, in who gets believed. If you left feeling unheard, that doesn’t automatically mean you misunderstood your body. Often, it reflects systemic blind spots — not personal inadequacy. When Healthcare Starts to Feel Unsafe I notice that after dismissal, many clients become hyper-aware before appointments. They rehearse what they’ll say. They track symptoms meticulously. They brace themselves in waiting rooms. Or they avoid going altogether. Your nervous system may be trying to prevent another experience of being dismissed. For people who’ve repeatedly encountered racial bias, gender bias, or discrimination in medical spaces, healthcare can start to feel not just frustrating — but unsafe. The stress begins before the appointment even starts. This is especially common for people living with chronic illness, autoimmune conditions, chronic pain, fatigue syndromes, or other invisible illnesses — where symptoms aren’t always easily measured. Avoidance isn’t weakness. It’s protection. And it makes sense. The Quiet Creep of Shame Medical dismissal can quietly turn into shame. Even if no one explicitly says, “You’re exaggerating,” the experience can land that way. I’ve sat with many clients who begin to question themselves: “Maybe I’m being dramatic.” “Maybe it really is just anxiety.” “I don’t want to be difficult.” For women and gender-diverse individuals, cultural messaging about being “too emotional” can amplify that self-doubt. For people of color, longstanding patterns of medical mistrust rooted in systemic racism can deepen the impact. Clinical research links medical gaslighting to depression, shame, and healthcare avoidance (Shapiro & Hayburn, 2024). When stigma is involved — such as weight stigma or bias toward LGBTQ+ individuals — the psychological toll can intensify (Timkova et al., 2025). Self-doubt often forms in relationship. The hopeful part is that it can be repaired in relationship, too. When It Starts to Feel Traumatic Not every dismissive appointment leads to PTSD. But many people develop trauma-like stress responses around healthcare. You might: Freeze when advocating for yourself Go blank when questioned Tear up unexpectedly Delay or avoid follow-up care Medical trauma can develop when someone feels powerless or disbelieved in moments involving their body and safety (Shapiro & Hayburn, 2024). When dismissal intersects with racial or gender bias, that powerlessness can feel even more profound. If your body reacts strongly in medical settings, it likely learned to do that for a reason. How I Work With This in Therapy I’m not your physician. But I can help you untangle the emotional impact of medical dismissal. In my Los Angeles practice — and virtually across California — I support clients in a few key ways. Learning to Trust Yourself Again We gently separate: “I’m anxious” from “I’m wrong.” “We don’t have answers yet” from “Nothing is real.” “A provider disagreed” from “My experience isn’t valid.” Rebuilding trust in your perception often becomes central to the work. Making Space for Grief and Anger There is often grief here. Lost time. Delayed diagnoses. Feeling alone in something frightening. There may also be anger. And anger can be clarifying — especially when boundaries were crossed, personally or systemically. Both deserve room. Reducing Healthcare Anxiety Together, we develop grounded strategies for navigating medical spaces: Clarifying your goals before appointments Practicing direct, respectful language Regulating your nervous system before and after visits The goal isn’t to perform perfectly. It’s to help you stay connected to yourself in environments that have felt destabilizing. Naming What’s Bigger Than You Because of my background in community psychology, I pay attention to the larger systems shaping your experience. Healthcare bias — including racial and gender disparities — stigma, and institutional power dynamics are real. Naming that context can reduce self-blame and support clearer, steadier advocacy. A Gentle Pause If you’ve experienced medical dismissal, I want to say this plainly: You deserve to be taken seriously. You deserve thoughtful, collaborative care. You deserve to be trusted as a credible expert on your own body. If healthcare experiences have shaken your self-trust or increased your anxiety, we can talk about it. You don’t have to keep navigating medical spaces alone. Therapy for Medical Trauma and Healthcare Anxiety in Los Angeles If this feels familiar, and you’re looking for therapy in Los Angeles or virtually anywhere in California for: Medical trauma Chronic illness stress Healthcare anxiety Weight stigma distress LGBTQ+ affirming support I’d welcome a conversation. You don’t have to sort this out by yourself. Ready to take the first step? Reach out today — you don’t have to do this alone. References Faytong-Haro, M. (2025). Medical gaslighting: Navigating patient-clinician mistrust in healthcare. Frontiers in Health Services, 5, 1633672. https://doi.org/10.3389/frhs.2025.1633672 Shapiro, D., & Hayburn, A. (2024). Medical gaslighting as a mechanism for medical trauma: Case studies and analysis. Current Psychology, 43, 34747–34760. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12144-024-06935-0 Timkova, V., Mikula, P., & Nagyova, I. (2025). Psychosocial distress in people with overweight and obesity: The role of weight stigma and social support. Frontiers in Psychology, 15, 1474844. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2024.1474844 Woldhuis, T., & Gandy, M. (2024). Illness invalidation and psychological distress in adults with chronic physical health symptoms. General Hospital Psychiatry, 91, 89–95. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.genhosppsych.2024.10.001

What Is Anxiety, Really? (A Real Talk Moment) Anxiety gets a bad rap. It’s often seen as something broken inside you — a flaw to fix. But in reality, anxiety is just your nervous system doing its job: keeping you safe by sounding the alarm when something feels off. F or neurodivergent brains, though, that alarm can go off more often. Not because something’s wrong with you — but because the world wasn’t built with your sensory system, processing style, or emotional patterns in mind. “An abstract illustration of a colorful brain, symbolizing how neurodivergent minds experience and respond to anxiety in unique and meaningful ways. In ADHD, anxiety can stem from struggles with planning, staying organized, or managing time — often leading to missed deadlines, chaotic environments, and misunderstandings. In autism, anxiety frequently grows from sensory overload, changes in routine, and the exhausting effort of social masking. In sensory processing differences, even just being in a room that’s too loud, too bright, or too busy can trigger a feeling of overwhelm. Anxiety isn't weakness. It's communication. Anxiety Isn’t Random — It’s a Signal For many neurodivergent folks, anxiety doesn’t just show up out of nowhere. It builds, slowly, because the environment often doesn’t match what your brain and body need to feel safe. Fluorescent lights buzzing overhead. A crowded room where every voice blends into chaos. The constant expectation to "just be normal." You’re not overreacting. Of course your system is sounding the alarm. It’s not random. It’s your nervous system waving a flag, saying: "Hey, something here isn’t okay." Instead of fighting anxiety — which usually just turns the volume up — what if we paused and got curious? What is my anxiety trying to tell me? Where am I being pushed past my limits? What needs care right now? These are the kinds of questions we explore together in therapy — gently, at your own pace. (It’s Not About Fixing — It’s About Listening) When I meet a new client navigating anxiety alongside neurodivergence — ADHD, autism, sensory differences, or anything else — one of the first things I say is something I wish someone had told me sooner: You’re not broken. You ’re not something that needs fixing. You ’re someone who deserves to be understood. As someone who works with neurodivergent folks, I see how easy it is to internalize the idea that anxiety is a "problem" — a glitch to be silenced or erased. But what if it’s not? What if anxiety isn’t a flaw at all? What if it’s a messenger? The Cost of Masking (and Why It’s So Exhausting) If you grew up without a diagnosis — or without the kind of support you deserved — you might have learned to mask : hiding the parts of yourself that didn’t fit. Masking helps you survive. But it also quietly drains you. It disconnects you from your real self . It leaves you wondering: "What if they find out I’m struggling more than they think?" "What if I’m not doing it ‘right’?" Research shows that masking — especially among autistic and ADHD individuals — is linked to higher rates of anxiety, depression, and burnout. One client once told me masking felt like "wearing a heavy winter coat all summer long — just to fit in." It’s protective, but exhausting. Unmasking doesn’t happen overnight — and it shouldn’t. In therapy, we work on it slowly, compassionately, and always at your own pace. Because who you are underneath the mask is someone worth knowing, worth honoring, and worth protecting. Listening to Your Anxiety — Not Fighting It One of the most powerful shifts we work toward is moving from battling anxiety  to listening to it . Sometimes anxiety says: "This space is too loud, too bright, too much." Sometimes it whispers: "You’re carrying more than you can handle." And sometimes it screams: "Please — slow down. I can't keep going like this." When we stop seeing anxiety as something "bad" and start honoring it as a guide, everything starts to change. You begin to trust your inner voice again. You start to believe your own experiences. You realize: You’re not broken. You’re wise. Tiny Acts of Self-Compassion Are Enough Healing doesn’t have to look like a grand transformation. It can be tiny, quiet acts of self-kindness: Taking five minutes to stretch, stim, or step outside when your body says, "enough." Creating a small, sensory-friendly corner where you can decompress. Practicing saying "no" — even if your voice shakes a little. Working with a therapist who sees your neurodivergence as a strength, not a flaw. Each small step toward yourself is a revolution. Each act of listening is a way of coming home. Healing isn’t about becoming a "better version" of yourself. It’s about becoming more yourself. You Are Not Broken — You Are Incredibly Brave Living with anxiety — especially when the world wasn’t designed for your nervous system — takes immense  courage. Every day, you’re moving through spaces that weren't built with you in mind. You're adapting. You're creating your own ways of surviving — and thriving — in a world that often asks too much. In my practice, I don’t see anxiety as a sign you’re failing.  I see it as an invitation: To slow down. To listen deeper. To take your needs seriously — maybe for the first time. If you’re ready to stop fighting yourself and start building real self-trust, I’d be honored to walk alongside you. Ready to take the first step?   Reach out today — you don’t have to do this alone. Further Reading and Helpful Resources If you’d like to learn more about the ideas behind reframing anxiety, here are some books and articles I recommend: Divergent Mind  by Jenara Nerenberg  A powerful exploration of anxiety, sensory sensitivity, and thriving as a neurodivergent adult. Unmasking Autism  by Dr. Devon Price  A compassionate guide to understanding masking, authenticity, and self-trust for autistic and neurodivergent individuals. The Polyvagal Theor y  by Dr. Stephen Porges  A fascinating look at how our nervous systems shape our feelings of safety, connection, and anxiety. Neuroqueer Heresies  by Dr. Nick Walker  Brilliant essays on embracing neurodiversity, challenging outdated ideas about "normalcy," and reclaiming your story. Hull, L., Petrides, K. V., Allison, C., Smith, P., Baron-Cohen, S., Lai, M.-C., & Mandy, W. (2017). "Putting on my best normal": Social camouflaging in adults with autism spectrum conditions. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 47 (8), 2519–2534. Research on Masking and Mental Health   The Highly Sensitive Person  by Dr. Elaine Aron  Helpful for understanding sensory sensitivity and how overstimulation can lead to heightened anxiety. Curious to learn more about how anxiety, neurodivergence, and self-compassion connect? These books and studies have been incredibly influential in my own practice and understanding — and they might offer you some new insights too. I’ve created a Bookshop page  featuring some of my favorite reads—resources I often return to with clients and in my own life. These books offer thoughtful, research‑backed insights and practical tools for navigating life’s challenges with more compassion and connection. Purchases through my Bookshop page support my work and independent bookstores , which I deeply value as part of building healthy, connected communities.

Parenting teenagers can feel like riding a roller coaster with no seatbelt. One minute they’re confident and independent, the next they’re slamming their door and muttering under their breath. Parenting teens can feel like an emotional roller coaster—PACE helps you ride the highs and lows with more calm and connection If you live with anxiety, those moments can hit hard. I know— because I’m both a therapist and a parent. There are days I catch myself spiraling into that what if  mindset: What if they mess this up? What if I’m failing them? What if I can’t keep them safe? Anxiety loves “what if.” It can hijack the way you parent, making you more reactive, less connected, and so tired you feel like you’re running on fumes. But here’s the thing: breaking that cycle doesn’t mean shutting off worry (that’s not how anxiety works). It’s about finding a calmer way to show up for your teen—without losing yourself in the process. One tool I keep coming back to is PACE —Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity, and Empathy. Why Parenting Teens Feels So Big When You’re Anxious Teenagers are supposed  to push boundaries. That’s part of how they grow up. But if you live with anxiety, it can feel like every eye roll is a red flag and every risky choice is somehow your fault. When I catch myself spiraling, I try to pause and ask:  “Is this about their actual safety—or my fear talking?”  Nine times out of ten, that question helps me breathe before I react. What Is PACE? PACE comes from Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy (DDP) and was originally created to help kids heal from attachment wounds. But honestly? It works beautifully for parenting teens, especially when anxiety wants to run the show. 1. Playfulness – Lighten the Moment Anxiety can make everything heavy fast. Playfulness doesn’t mean ignoring big issues—it’s just about adding a little softness to the moment. A gentle tone, a small smile, even a well-timed joke can go a long way: Teen: “Why do you even care what I do?” Parent: (smiling) “Pretty sure it’s in my job description—‘professional worrier, full-time parent.’” That tiny spark of humor can break the tension and remind both of you: this relationship is safe. 2. Acceptance – See Them Without Judgment Acceptance isn’t about agreeing with every choice. It’s about seeing their feelings as real, even when you don’t like their behavior. “I can see this really matters to you.” “You’re frustrated. I get that.” For anxious parents, this is huge because anxiety often whispers, fix it, control it, make it go away . Acceptance creates space for connection instead of shutdown. 3. Curiosity – Invite Conversation, Not Interrogation When anxiety’s loud, it’s easy to slip into lecture mode. Curiosity slows things down: “Help me understand what this feels like for you.” “What’s the hardest part of this right now?” Curiosity tells your teen: I want to know you, not just correct you. 4. Empathy – Feel With Them Empathy is about joining them in their feeling, even if you don’t agree with their choice. Sometimes it’s as simple as sitting down beside them and saying: “This looks hard. I’m here with you.” You don’t have to fix it in that moment. You just have to show up. Parenting Yourself While Parenting Them PACE isn’t just for your teen—it’s for you. Your teen is watching how you handle stress. Are you doomscrolling, snapping at everyone, or burying yourself in busywork? (No judgment, I’ve done all of that too.) What if you showed them what it looks like to handle anxiety in healthy ways? Taking breaks when you’re overwhelmed. Calling a friend or therapist when you’re stuck. Making time for things that bring joy—not just chores. You’re teaching emotional regulation, but you’re also modeling  it. Connect Before You Correct Your teen will make choices you don’t love. That’s life. But if your first response is anger or judgment, they’re less likely to come to you next time. When things go sideways, try starting with connection:  “I love you. I’m here. I want to understand what’s going on.” Boundaries still matter. Consequences still matter. But leading with relationship keeps the door open. When Anxiety Is Loud When your anxiety screams: They’re making bad choices, this is a disaster , pause and ask yourself: Can I lighten this moment? Can I accept them even when I dislike the choice? Can I get curious instead of controlling? Can I feel with them instead of reacting at them? Each question slows anxiety down and makes space for connection instead of conflict. You Don’t Have to Do This Alone Parenting teens is hard. Parenting teens with anxiety ? That’s next-level. Using PACE takes practice—and support. If anxiety is making parenting feel overwhelming, reaching out for help can make a big difference. That might mean talking to a therapist (like me) or confiding in someone you trust. You don’t need every answer right now. You just need space to breathe, connect, and remember: your relationship with your teen matters more than any single mistake or moment. If you’re ready for support, I’d love to help. Schedule a consultation so we can talk about what’s been hard, what’s been working, and how to make space for calmer, more connected parenting—without losing yourself in the process. Lets Connect. References: Hughes, D. A., & Baylin, J. (2012). Brain-based parenting : The Neuroscience of Caregiving for Healthy Attachment . W. W. Norton & Company. Hughes, D. A., & Golding, K. S. (2024). Healing relational trauma workbook: Dyadic developmental psychotherapy in practice . W. W. Norton & Company. Lender, D. (2020). Integrative attachment family therapy . W. W. Norton & Company. The home of dyadic developmental psychotherapy. DDP Network. (2025, July 25).   https://ddpnetwork.org/

As we step into the New Year, there's often pressure to set resolutions aimed at “fixing” ourselves. But what if, instead of focusing on what's broken, we celebrated what already makes us strong? Imagine creating a vision for 2025 rooted in growth, self-compassion, and empowerment . This year, I invite you to explore a new way of reflecting and planning with your Powerfolio  — a personalized collection of your strengths, achievements, and unique qualities. This approach draws from positive psychology  and empowerment theory , which show that recognizing your strengths fosters greater resilience and fulfillment. You already have the tools within you; together, let’s uncover them and build a future that feels empowering. Why Focus on Strengths for Personal Growth? In my work as a therapist, I’ve seen how powerful it can be to shift focus from weaknesses to strengths. Here’s what happens when you lean into your strengths: You become more resilient.  Recognizing your abilities helps you bounce back from setbacks with confidence. You build self-efficacy.  Knowing what you’re capable of makes challenges feel less daunting. You nurture self-compassion.  Celebrating your strengths promotes a kinder, more accepting self-image. You set meaningful goals.  When goals are built around what you do well, they’re more achievable and fulfilling. Research in positive psychology  shows that focusing on strengths enhances personal growth and supports overall well-being. Instead of feeling stuck in endless self-improvement loops, you move forward with clarity, purpose, and positivity . To help you start this journey of self-discovery, I’ve created a guide called: Powerfolio: An Interactive Guide to Discovering, Celebrating, and Growing Your Superpowers This isn’t a quick-fix worksheet — it’s a thoughtfully designed guide that takes time, reflection, and effort . The workbook includes multiple exercises  to help you: Identify and document your unique strengths. Uncover your superpowers — the qualities that make you resilient and resourceful. Create a strengths-based vision for the year ahead. Cultivate confidence and resilience through guided reflection and action. You may find it beneficial to work through this guide alongside therapy . Therapy can offer support as you process insights, navigate challenges, and integrate your strengths into your daily life. Download Your Free Powerfolio Guide and give yourself the gift of empowerment and self-discovery this year. Therapy as a Path to Confidence and Growth Therapy is a safe, supportive space to explore your strengths. Whether you’re navigating challenges, seeking clarity, or building confidence, a strengths-based approach in therapy can: Help you set intentional goals  that are aligned with who you are. Reframe negative thoughts  by anchoring you in your resilience. Support authentic decisions  based on your values and strengths. Your Powerfolio  can serve as a tool in therapy to remind you of your innate abilities and guide your journey toward growth. Embrace Your Superpowers and Step into 2025 This New Year, give yourself permission to let go of traditional resolutions. Choose self-awareness, self-compassion, and empowerment . Your strengths are your superpowers — they’re already within you, waiting to be acknowledged and celebrated. Are you ready to explore what makes you strong? Let’s walk this path together. Book an Appointment to discover how therapy can support your journey of empowerment and growth. References Bandura, A. (1997). Self-efficacy: The exercise of control. W.H. Freeman. Bowers, K. (2009). Making the most of human strengths. In Positive psychology: Exploring the best in people: Discovering human strengths (pp. 23–36). Praeger. Fredrickson, B. L. (2001). The role of positive emotions in positive psychology: The broaden-and-build theory of positive emotions. American Psychologist, 56(3), 218–226.   https://doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.56.3.218 Neff, K. D. (2003). The development and validation of a scale to measure self-compassion. Self and Identity, 2(3), 223–250.   https://doi.org/10.1080/15298860309027 Seligman, M. E. P., & Csikszentmihalyi, M. (2000). Positive psychology: An introduction. American Psychologist, 55(1), 5–14.   https://doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.55.1.5 Zimmerman, M. A. (1995). Psychological empowerment: Issues and illustrations. American Journal of Community Psychology, 23(5), 581–599.   https://doi.org/10.1007/BF02506983

When Your Child Feels Anxious, It’s Easy to Feel Powerless As both a therapist and a parent, I’ve seen it again and again: a child overwhelmed by fear or uncertainty, and their caregiver rushing in to make it better—soothe the fear, fix the situation, or avoid the discomfort entirely. It’s instinctual. We want to protect our kids from pain. But what if, instead of trying to remove the discomfort, we helped them learn how to be with it? One of the most impactful ways we can shift our relationship with anxiety—and teach our kids to do the same—is to understand how it works. That’s where licensed marriage and family therapist Oliver Drakeford’s 10 Rules of Anxiety  come in. The 10 Rules of Anxiety Anxiety tends to follow its own strange logic—unspoken “rules” that keep us caught in cycles of worry, overthinking, and avoidance. Naming these patterns is the first step in loosening their hold. These “rules” remind us that anxiety often isn’t about real danger. It’s more about fear of the unknown, fear of not being good enough, or not being in control. Once we see these patterns for what they are, we can begin to challenge them—with gentleness and patience. What Is Intolerance of Uncertainty? (And Why It Fuels Anxiety) One of the core drivers of anxiety—especially for parents—is something many people don’t realize has a name: Intolerance of Uncertainty (IU). IU is the tendency to react negatively—emotionally, mentally, and behaviorally—when we don’t know what’s going to happen. It’s not just fear of a bad outcome; it’s the discomfort of not knowing at all. Where IU Comes From The concept of IU first emerged from research on Generalized Anxiety Disorder in the 1990s (Dugas & Robichaud, 2007). Since then, it's been found to play a central role in many types of anxiety, including panic, OCD, health anxiety, and social anxiety. The anxious brain often operates on this logic: “If I don’t know what’s coming, I won’t be able to handle it.” This belief can lead to: Seeking constant reassurance Avoiding unfamiliar situations Over-planning or procrastinating Rigid routines Emotional exhaustion IU and Parenting If you’re a parent who struggles with uncertainty, that need for control can really ramp up. You might: Reassure your child repeatedly Jump in too fast to fix or “solve” distress Avoid new experiences for your child Feel overwhelmed when your child has strong, unpredictable emotions But here’s the thing: we can’t remove uncertainty from our kids’ lives. And we don’t need to. What we can do is model how to live with it—and show them that uncertainty doesn’t have to mean danger. How IU Might Be Showing Up You might notice IU in your own parenting if you: Micromanage your child’s schedule to avoid surprises Constantly look for reassurance from experts or friends Struggle to make decisions unless you’re completely sure Feel anxious when outcomes are out of your control Every time we avoid uncertainty, we teach our brains that it’s unsafe—strengthening the very fear we want to overcome. The Real Problem Isn’t Anxiety—It’s How We React to It Here’s something that can feel hard to hear, but also freeing: Fighting anxiety often makes it worse. When we try to push it away, ignore it, or argue with it, we usually give it more fuel. This is what Drakeford calls the Boomerang Effect  — the harder you try to throw anxiety away, the faster it comes back. The  Boomerang Effec t reminds us that the more we resist anxiety, the more tightly it clings. Trying to "get rid of" anxiety only strengthens the cycle. That doesn’t mean we have to just “accept feeling terrible.” It means making space for discomfort—without letting it run the show. It’s about shifting our inner voice from “This is unbearable” to “I can be with this, and still move forward.” Trying It in Real Life Here’s how a few of the “rules” might look in day-to-day parenting, especially when Intolerance of Uncertainty shows up: The Demand for Control and Certainty Anxiety says you’ll be safe if you plan for everything. But life is uncertain, and trying to control it all is exhausting. Overthinking and perfectionism don’t protect you—they drain you. Real peace comes from learning to live with the unknown. This rule says : “If I don’t know exactly how things will go, I can’t relax.” In action : Your child is anxious about a test or sleepover. You start overexplaining, over-preparing, or mentally rehearsing every possible scenario. Instead : Pause and remind yourself: This is distress—not danger.  You can be with the unknown and still support your child. The Boomerang Effect Anxiety doesn’t like being pushed away. The more you fight it, the louder it gets. Like a persistent little tug on your sleeve, it demands attention. Real relief comes not from resisting, but from noticing it—with curiosity instead of fear. This rule insists : “If I push anxiety away hard enough, it’ll go away.” In action : You try to stay “positive,” push past your feelings, or distract your child at all costs. Instead : Let yourself say, “I feel nervous, and I’m doing it anyway.”  That models courage, not avoidance. The Self-Attack Statute Anxiety says if something goes wrong, it must be your fault. You replay it, apologize too much, and blame yourself to feel in control. If you caused it, maybe you can fix it. But self-blame isn’t safety—it’s a trap that keeps you stuck in shame and doubt. This rule whispers:   “If something goes wrong, it must be your fault.” In action : Your child melts down at the grocery store, and your inner critic yells, “You’re a terrible parent.” Instead : Gently ask, “Is this my anxiety talking—or my shame?”  Reframe the moment as an opportunity to respond with connection, not judgment. Final Thoughts: Sitting with the Unknown—Together Parenting through anxiety—your child’s or your own—isn’t about having it all figured out. It’s about showing up, even when things feel messy or uncertain. It’s about letting your child know: “We don’t have to feel okay to keep going.” You don’t need to be fearless. You just need to be willing—to feel, to stay curious, and to show up. That’s how we grow.That’s how our kids grow.And that’s how anxiety starts to loosen its grip. If this resonates with you—if you’ve found yourself caught in the spiral of anxiety, perfectionism, or the pressure to be a “fix-it-all” parent—you’re not alone. You don’t have to navigate uncertainty by yourself. Whether you're parenting a child who struggles with anxiety or simply trying to manage your own, support is available. If you're curious about working together, I invite you to reach out. Let’s explore how you can build more calm, flexibility, and confidence—starting exactly where you are. Lets Connect. References Carleton, R. N. (2016). Into the unknown: A review and synthesis of contemporary models involving uncertainty. Journal of Anxiety Disorders, 39 , 30–43. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.janxdis.2016.02.007 Dugas, M. J., & Robichaud, M. (2007). Cognitive-behavioral treatment for generalized anxiety disorder: From science to practice . Routledge. Drakeford, O. (n.d.). The ten rules of anxiety . Oliver Drakeford Therapy. Retrieved July 2025, from   https://www.oliverdrakefordtherapy.com/anxiety/the-ten-rules-of-anxiety

Long before I became a therapist, I was backstage in theatres, helping shape stories that stirred emotion—where heartbreak unfolded on cue and joy radiated from the stage. What stuck with me, though, wasn’t just the magic we created. It was the community. Theatre is all about collaboration. It’s people working quietly together, trusting each other, and creating something bigger than any one person. Sitting in an audience, breathing together, feeling together—it taught me that healing, real healing, doesn’t happen alone. That lesson stayed with me long after I left the theatre. Sitting in an audience, breathing together, feeling together—it taught me that healing, real healing, doesn’t happen alone. Why I Left Theatre (Even Though I Still Loved It) I didn’t leave because I stopped loving the work. I left because somewhere along the way, I lost track of myself. I was great at showing up—for shows, for deadlines, for everyone else. But not so great at showing up for me. Therapy helped me slow down and listen to what I actually needed. It helped me imagine a new kind of role—one where I could still support others without losing myself in the process. I learned that being backstage wasn’t just about logistics or props; it was about holding space for transformation. Now, as a therapist, I get to walk alongside people who are rewriting their own stories—people figuring out who they are outside of old roles and expectations. And, in many ways, I’m still on that journey too—learning to stand in my own story, not just behind the scenes of others’. Group Therapy: The Power of Healing Together Some of the most powerful moments in theatre happen in silence. A scene unfolds, the room gets still, and for a moment, everyone is holding something together. Group therapy feels a lot like that. It’s the subtle, sacred connection of shared humanity. It’s sitting in a circle and realizing that your story resonates in someone else’s tears—or their laughter. Groups provide a space to practice being seen and supported. Whether it's parenting groups, anger management, or grief support—group therapy allows us to explore our truths alongside others doing the same. We don’t have to reinvent the wheel alone. We get to lean on each other. Whether it’s parents supporting their LGBTQIA+ teens, adoptive parents finding community, or Intimate partner violence (IPV) survivors rebuilding trust, group work reminds us: you don't have to do this alone. We heal better together. We become mirrors, allies, and sometimes lifelines for each other. For anyone who’s been told to “handle it on your own,” this kind of shared healing can be revolutionary. Therapy Isn’t About Having All the Answers—It’s About Building Something Together When I worked backstage in production, my job wasn’t to be the star. It was to make sure everything was there to support the story. That’s how I see therapy too. I’m not here to hand you a script or tell you how the story should go. I’m here to walk beside you—to offer support, structure, and belief in your ability to create something meaningful, even when the lights flicker or the script changes. Even in a one-person show, there’s a team: directors, designers, technicians, and the audience breathing with you. Therapy is like that too. Healing might feel solitary, but it’s never truly solo. There’s always someone holding the light, adjusting the set, reminding you that you’re not alone. Empathy, to me, means being right there with you—through the pauses, the plot twists, and the messy in-betweens. Navigating Life Transitions: Writing a New Chapter Leaving theatre wasn’t easy. It meant letting go of an identity that once felt like home, grieving what I thought I was supposed to be, and trusting that something new could take root. And I see that same courageous shift in so many of my clients. Whether it's the first steps into adulthood, the uncertainty of a career pivot, or the grief of relationships ending, life transitions can shake us to our core. Therapy becomes the rehearsal room for what’s next—a place to experiment, revise, and eventually step into the spotlight of our own lives. A lot of my clients are right in the middle of that kind of shift—leaving jobs, relationships, patterns that don’t fit anymore. Therapy is where we get to ask: What story do I want to tell next? It’s not about erasing the past. It’s about gathering the pieces, honoring what got you here, and building something even more true to who you are. Healing Isn't a Solo Act In theatre, nothing happens alone. Every actor is supported by a dozen unseen hands. Every performance is shaped by what’s happening in the room that night. That’s what I bring into the therapy space—a belief that healing happens in connection. Whether it’s individual therapy, couples work, group support, or community spaces—you don’t have to carry it all yourself. Sometimes the bravest thing isn’t pushing through alone. It’s pausing, reaching out, and letting someone walk with you. I’m here for that. And I know, deeply, that transformation is possible when we dare to be witnessed. Are You Ready to Begin Your Next Act? I specialize in working with: LGBTQIA+ individuals and teens Adoptive and foster families Adults navigating identity, trauma, and life transitions Folks facing major life changes like career shifts, “adulting” for the first time, or redefining relationships If you’re looking for compassionate, creative, and community-centered therapy in Los Angeles or anywhere in California, let’s connect . You don’t have to do it alone. Your next act is waiting—and I’d be honored to help you take the stage.

Birthdays are weird, aren’t they? They’re supposed to be a celebration, but they also bring a mix of emotions—joy, nostalgia, and sometimes, grief. Every year, I find myself sitting with it all—the happiness of another year, the memories of what once was, and the uncertainty of what’s ahead. But this year feels heavier. It’s my first birthday without my dad. No early morning phone call, no off-key singing, no terrible dad jokes. Just quiet. His absence isn’t just felt—it lingers in all the small moments that used to be ours. When Birthdays Are Hard And then there’s everything else—the world outside my personal grief that feels heavier by the day. In times like these, I return to self-care—not as a luxury, but as a way to keep moving forward. Grieving Life’s Milestones: How to Navigate Loss During Big Moments Losing my dad last year changed the way I experience time. Milestones like birthdays don’t feel the same when someone you love is gone. What used to be a simple celebration now holds both love and loss. I feel the ache of missing him, but also the warmth of what remains—the love that doesn’t disappear when someone dies. Grief isn’t linear. It shows up when it wants to, reshaping the meaning of our days. I remind myself that it’s okay to hold both sorrow and joy, to let them sit side by side. Feeling Overwhelmed? How to Cope When the World Feels Heavy Beyond personal loss, everything feels heavy right now. Attacks on LGBTQ+ rights—especially against the trans community—are relentless and feel like a personal attack on me and my family. Policies restricting healthcare, banning affirming care, and erasing trans history aren’t just political decisions. They’re direct threats to people’s lives. Recently, the National Park Service removed references to transgender individuals from the Stonewall National Monument’s website. A place meant to honor LGBTQ+ history is now being rewritten to exclude key voices. The message is clear: some people’s existence is up for debate. And as a therapist, I see the toll this takes on mental health. Clients tell me about their fear, exhaustion, and uncertainty about what comes next. In a world like this, simply existing as queer or trans can feel like resistance. Radical Self-Care: How Taking Care of Yourself is a Form of Resistance When everything feels overwhelming, self-care isn’t just important—it’s survival. Audre Lorde once wrote: "Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare." Her words were specific to Black women’s survival in a society that often erased them, but they resonate across so many movements, including LGBTQ+ rights and mental health advocacy. For those of us navigating grief, oppression, or exhaustion, self-care is a way to push back. It’s a refusal to let systems of harm dictate our worth. Self-Care in Uncertain Times: What It Means & How to Practice It Self-care isn’t just bubble baths and deep breaths. Sometimes, it looks more like: Setting Boundaries : Turning off the news when it gets too heavy. Stepping away from harmful conversations. Cultivating Joy : Not as an escape, but as a way to make space for laughter, love, and things that bring us joy. For me, that’s rewatching old comfort shows, listening to old songs from road trips with day or spending time with people who make me feel safe. Building Community : Leaning on chosen family, fostering connections, and strengthening our communities. Honoring Our Emotions : Letting ourselves feel everything—grief, anger, exhaustion, hope—without guilt or apology. How to Move Forward with Intention: Steps for Healing and Growth As I sit with another birthday, I remind myself that moving forward doesn’t always mean doing. Sometimes, it means resting, healing, and reconnecting with what truly matters. If you’re carrying grief, political exhaustion, or the weight of injustice, I want you to know this: you are not alone. This year, I’m choosing to make space for both joy and sorrow, for celebration and struggle. And I invite you to do the same. But you don’t have to do it alone. If you’re feeling the weight of it all, I want you to know—you don’t have to carry it by yourself. Let’s talk. References Lorde, A. (2017). A burst of light: and other essays . Dover Publications. National Park Service. (2025, February 13). Transgender references removed from Stonewall National Monument website . U.S. Department of the Interior. Retrieved from https://nypost.com/2025/02/13/us-news/transgender-references-removed-from-stonewall-national-monument-website/

For years, ADHD has been described with words like "disorder" and "deficit." It’s no wonder many people feel like it’s something to "fix" or manage. But what if there’s more to the story? What if, hidden beneath the challenges, there’s also a source of strength? I’ve seen this firsthand with my clients—and even in my own life. ADHD doesn’t have to hold you back. In fact, it can be a springboard for creativity, resilience, and growth. Deeply engage in creation and channel creativity by harnessing your ADHD superpowers Turning Challenges into Strengths ADHD is often seen as a mix of contradictions. It can feel like an endless race between high energy and unexpected distractions. But here’s the good news: those very traits can work in your favor. For example, many of my clients discover that their  impulsivity  leads to a sense of spontaneity that opens doors to new experiences. High energy , when directed toward something meaningful, can drive incredible achievements. And then there’s hyperfocus —that magical ability to lock onto something you love and dive in with laser-sharp intensity. Whether it’s a creative project, a new hobby, or solving a tricky problem at work, this focus can be a game-changer. Research shows that hyperfocus  allows individuals with ADHD to channel their attention and excel in areas that truly spark their interest. When we work together, we explore how to channel these traits to your advantage. I’ll guide you in turning what feels like chaos into a source of strength and self-discovery. A Different Way of Thinking: Creativity as a Superpower If you’ve ever felt like your mind works differently than others, you’re right—and that’s not a bad thing. ADHD often comes with a unique way of looking at the world. You might have ideas no one else would think of, or find unconventional solutions to problems. This isn’t just anecdotal. Studies suggest that adults with ADHD excel in creative thinking because of their ability to approach problems from unique angles. Whether you’re tackling personal challenges or dreaming up bold new goals, your creativity can be a driving force. Therapy can help you tap into that spark and channel it into areas that truly matter to you. The Adventurous Spirit of ADHD People with ADHD often have an innate curiosity and drive for new experiences. That hunger for novelty can sometimes lead to impulsive decisions, sure—but it can also lead to incredible adventures. Maybe you’ve jumped into a new job, pursued an unexpected passion, or discovered a hidden talent because you weren’t afraid to take risks. Together, we’ll celebrate this adventurous spirit and find ways to let it guide you toward meaningful goals. As one study noted, many adults with ADHD thrive in dynamic and ever-changing environments, where their curiosity and adaptability shine. The key is learning how to balance that adventurous spirit with intentionality. Together, we’ll explore ways to align your curiosity with your goals, so you can take meaningful risks without feeling overwhelmed. Resilience Through Challenges Living in a world designed for neurotypical brains isn’t easy, and that can’t be ignored. ADHD often brings its share of frustration, especially when you’re constantly told to "calm down" or "try harder." But here’s the thing: navigating those challenges can make you incredibly resilient. Many of my clients tell me they’ve become more adaptable and self-aware because of their ADHD. One shared how years of navigating misunderstandings taught them to advocate for themselves in powerful ways. That kind of strength doesn’t come easily, but it’s worth celebrating. It’s not about pretending the challenges don’t exist—it’s about recognizing the ways they’ve shaped you and finding ways to grow from them. Therapy is a space where you can reflect on your experiences with compassion and discover the resilience that’s been there all along. What It’s Like to Work With Me In therapy, I want you to feel like your quirks and energy aren’t just tolerated—they’re celebrated. Whether it’s through storytelling, creative exercises, or simply sharing a laugh, our sessions are about collaboration and discovery. One of my favorite tools is using visual exercises to map out your strengths. For example, we might reflect on times when your ADHD traits have helped you succeed, or brainstorm strategies to turn chaotic moments into opportunities for growth. Every session is tailored to you, with a focus on uncovering your potential—not just managing symptoms. Ready to Tap Into Your Superpower? ADHD isn’t just a challenge; it’s a part of who you are. And with the right tools and mindset, it can become one of your greatest strengths. Ready to start your journey? Let’s work together to turn your ADHD into your greatest strength. References Boot, N., Nevicka, B., & Baas, M. (2020). Creativity in ADHD: Goal-directed motivation and domain specificity. Journal of Attention Disorders, 24 (13), 1857–1866.   https://doi.org/10.1177/1087054717727352 Hupfeld, K. E., Abagis, T. R., & Shah, P. (2019). Living “in the zone”: Hyperfocus in adult ADHD. Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Disorders, 11 (2), 191–208.   https://doi.org/10.1007/s12402-018-0272-y Nordby, E. S., Guribye, F., Nordgreen, T., & Lundervold, A. J. (2023). Silver linings of ADHD: A thematic analysis of adults’ positive experiences with living with ADHD. BMJ Open, 13 (10), e072052.   https://doi.org/10.1136/bmjopen-2023-072052 Sedgwick, J. A., Merwood, A., & Asherson, P. (2019). The positive aspects of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder: A qualitative investigation of successful adults with ADHD. Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Disorders, 11 (3), 241–253.   https://doi.org/10.1007/s12402-018-0277-6 White, H. A., & Shah, P. (2006). Uninhibited imaginations: Creativity in adults with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder. Personality and Individual Differences, 40 (6), 1121–1131.   https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2005.11.007

As a therapist, I understand that today’s families are diverse, complex, and constantly evolving. For those of you raising nonbinary children, navigating life beyond the traditional gender binary can bring unique challenges—but also opportunities for growth, understanding, and deeper connection. As more young people move away from the binary labels of "male" and "female" to embrace their true identities, I believe it’s vital that families have the resources and support they need to embark on this journey with empathy and confidence. What is the Gender Binary? The gender binary assumes that there are only two distinct, biologically determined categories of gender—male and female. But for many individuals, this binary framework doesn’t fully capture the richness and diversity of their gender experiences. Nonbinary individuals, including those who identify as genderqueer, genderfluid, or androgynous, challenge these traditional categories, embracing identities that exist outside the confines of "male" or "female." Recent studies show that nonbinary identities are becoming increasingly visible, especially among younger generations. For example, a survey from the Human Rights Campaign revealed that many LGBTQ youth reject conventional gender categories, identifying as transgender or using other terms to express their gender identity (Human Rights Campaign, 2012). As awareness of the gender spectrum grows, it’s important that we, as families and therapists, learn how to affirm and support nonbinary individuals, allowing them the space to flourish in their authenticity. The Importance of Family Support I cannot emphasize enough how critical family support is for the mental health and well-being of nonbinary youth. A nurturing and accepting family environment helps nonbinary children and teens thrive. Conversely, the absence of support can lead to significant mental health struggles. Research consistently shows that nonbinary youth who experience rejection or misunderstanding from their families face higher rates of depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts than their peers (Greene & Britton, 2015). I know that as parents or caregivers, you may have questions and concerns about your child’s identity, and it’s okay to feel unprepared. However, you don’t have to navigate this journey alone. Therapy offers a compassionate space for you to explore your feelings, ask questions, and learn how to best support your nonbinary child with confidence and care. Language Matters: Affirming Your Child's Identity One of the most challenging aspects for many parents is learning how to use affirming language when speaking with or about their nonbinary child. It can feel unfamiliar at first to use gender-neutral pronouns or to refer to your child in ways that don’t align with the gender they were assigned at birth. However, honoring your child’s chosen identity and language is one of the most powerful ways to show your love and support. It validates their experience and reassures them that they are seen and accepted for who they truly are. In my practice, I work closely with parents to develop the tools needed to navigate this new language, creating stronger and more supportive relationships with their nonbinary children. Together, we create a space where both parents and children can express their feelings and experiences, paving the way for deeper understanding and healing. Overcoming Fear and Embracing Possibilities Many parents worry about what the future holds for their nonbinary child. Concerns about bullying, discrimination, or social rejection are natural, and as parents, you want to protect your child from harm. While it’s true that nonbinary individuals may face challenges in a world still largely defined by the gender binary, it’s equally important to focus on the strengths and possibilities that come with embracing their authentic identity. In our sessions, we will work together to shift from a place of fear to one of empowerment. By focusing on resilience, acceptance, and open communication, I help families create an environment where their nonbinary children can thrive. When families embrace their child’s identity with love and understanding, it lays the foundation for a future filled with opportunities and fulfillment. Creating a Safe Space for Growth Therapy can be an essential tool in helping families understand and support their nonbinary children. It provides a structured, safe space where family members can address their concerns, challenge assumptions, and develop new strategies for fostering a healthy, supportive family dynamic. Whether you’re just beginning to understand your child’s identity or are already on this journey together, professional guidance can be invaluable in building a strong and affirming family unit. As someone who specializes in working with LGBTQ+ and nonbinary youth, I offer compassionate, informed care designed to help families navigate this journey with confidence and love. Through individual and family sessions, we’ll work together to build the skills needed to support your nonbinary child with empathy, respect, and understanding. Take the First Step If you’re a parent or caregiver of a nonbinary child, it’s okay to feel unsure or overwhelmed. The important thing is to take the first step toward understanding and support. I’m here to help you navigate this journey with compassion, expertise, and a focus on your family’s unique strengths. You don’t have to go through this alone. Book a consultation with me today, and let’s start building a supportive, affirming environment where your child can grow and thrive. Together, we can create a future full of possibilities for your family. References Bradford, N. J., Rider, G. N., Catalpa, J. M., Morrow, Q. J., Berg, D. R., Spencer, K. G., & McGuire, J. K. (2019). Creating gender: a thematic analysis of genderqueer narratives. The International Journal of Transgenderism, 20(2-3), 155–168.   https://doi.org/10.1080/15532739.2018.1474516 Bull, B., Byno, L., D’Arrigo, J., & Robertson, J. (2022). Parents of non-binary children: stories of understanding and support. Journal of Feminist Family Therapy, Jan 2022, P1. https://doi.org/10.1080/08952833.2022.2029331 Dominguez, M., Shrestha, A., Ahuja, A., & Ashley, K. (2020). Treatment in transition: the rapidly evolving landscape of transgender and gender non-binary care. Journal of Gay & Lesbian Mental Health, 24(1), 112–134.   https://doi.org/10.1080/19359705.2019.1692387 Greene, D. C., & Britton, P. J. (2015). Predicting adult LGBT happiness: impact of childhood affirmation, self-compassion, and personal mastery. Journal of LGBT Issues in Counseling, 9(3), 158–179.   https://doi.org/10.1080/15538605.2015.1068143 Human Rights Campaign. (2012). Supporting and caring for our gender expansive youth.   https://hrc-prod-requests.s3-us-west-2.amazonaws.com/national-dinner/images/general/Gender-expansive-youth-report-final.pdf Hyde, J. S., Bigler, R. S., Joel, D., Tate, C. C., & van Anders, S. M. (2019). The future of sex and gender in psychology: five challenges to the gender binary. The American Psychologist, 74(2), 171–193.   https://doi.org/10.1037/amp0000307 Katz-Wise, S. L., Galman, S. C., Friedman, L. E., & Kidd, K. M. (2021). Parent/caregiver narratives of challenges related to raising transgender and/or nonbinary youth. Journal of Family Issues, (20210920).   https://doi.org/10.1177/0192513X211044484 Wilson, B. D. M. & Meyer, I. H. (2021). Nonbinary LGBTQ Adults in the United States. Los Angeles: The Williams Institute.   https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/wp-content/uploads/Nonbinary-LGBTQ-Adults-Jun-2021.pdf

As a therapist specializing in the LGBTQ+ community, I often see how intimate partner violence (IPV) impacts many of my clients. IPV is not just a pervasive issue in society; it is one that directly affects the lives of countless individuals in the LGBTQ+ community. In fact, research shows that IPV touches nearly 1 in 4 women and 1 in 10 men during their lifetime (Smith et al., 2018), and this figure is likely even higher when unreported cases are taken into account. For LGBTQ+ individuals, IPV carries additional layers of complexity, including societal stigma and the lack of tailored support systems. In my practice, I utilize the Social Ecological Model (SEM) to better understand the intersection of these factors and to offer meaningful support to clients navigating IPV. What is Intimate Partner Violence? According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), IPV encompasses behaviors such as physical violence, sexual violence, stalking, and psychological aggression by an intimate partner (CDC, 2022). Unfortunately, many cases go unreported, and LGBTQ+ individuals often face even greater barriers when seeking help due to discrimination, fear of being outed, or the lack of LGBTQ+ affirming services. As a therapist, I find that it is crucial to offer a safe and supportive environment for my clients to openly discuss their experiences with IPV, without fear of judgment or further marginalization. I also work closely with my clients to understand how their unique identities and relationships may intersect with cycles of abuse. Understanding IPV Through the Social Ecological Model (SEM) The Social Ecological Model provides a framework for understanding IPV by examining the various levels that impact an individual’s experience of violence: individual, interpersonal, community, and societal. Each of these levels plays a role in either perpetuating or challenging IPV within the LGBTQ+ community. 1. Individual Level At the individual level, survivors of IPV in the LGBTQ+ community face unique challenges. For some, the threat of being outed by their abuser can be a powerful tool of control, especially for those who have not yet disclosed their sexual or gender identity to family or friends. In other cases, individuals may not even recognize the abuse as IPV because of societal expectations that frame IPV through a heterosexual lens. It's important that I work with clients to help them understand that IPV is not bound by traditional gender or sexual orientation norms and that their experiences are valid. 2. Interpersonal/Relationship Level The interpersonal level focuses on the dynamics of relationships. Many of my LGBTQ+ clients have grown up in environments where conflict and unhealthy behaviors were normalized. These learned patterns can be difficult to break, particularly when reinforced by abusers who exploit vulnerabilities related to gender identity or sexual orientation. In my sessions, I often address these relational dynamics, helping clients develop healthier boundaries and recognize abusive patterns. By creating a space where clients can safely explore their past and present relationships, we can begin the process of healing and breaking the cycle of abuse. 3. Community Level The community level examines the larger network of support—or lack thereof—available to LGBTQ+ individuals. Many LGBTQ+ people face significant barriers when trying to access community services, including shelters or legal assistance. Unfortunately, many shelters do not accept male survivors or mix LGBTQ+ individuals with heterosexual survivors, leaving LGBTQ+ people without a safe place to turn (Los Angeles LGBT Center, 2018). I work with my clients to help them identify safe, affirming resources within their community. Part of my role is to be an advocate for them and to ensure they have access to LGBTQ+ friendly services. I also strive to raise awareness about the unique needs of LGBTQ+ IPV survivors and to push for more inclusive policies in local organizations. 4. Societal Level At the societal level, we encounter widespread acceptance of violence, patriarchy, and structural inequalities that make it difficult for LGBTQ+ survivors of IPV to seek justice or support. Public narratives that disregard or stigmatize survivors’ experiences further silence those affected by IPV and embolden perpetrators who feel that they will face no consequences for their actions (Pallatino et al., 2019). One of the goals of therapy is to empower survivors by helping them understand that societal attitudes toward IPV do not define them. I help my clients build resilience, connect with affirming communities, and take steps toward healing, even in the face of societal adversity. The Unique Challenges Faced by LGBTQ+ IPV Survivors The intersection of IPV and LGBTQ+ identities presents a range of unique challenges that survivors often face alone. In Los Angeles, the LGBT Center reports that 80% of the victims who seek help from their STOP Violence Program have experienced IPV, and around 15% have experienced hate crimes (Los Angeles LGBT Center, 2018). Unfortunately, many mainstream resources are not equipped to handle the specific needs of LGBTQ+ survivors. Often, IPV assessment tools are designed with heteronormative assumptions, limiting their effectiveness for LGBTQ+ clients. In addition to this, a lack of cultural competence in mental health and social services can alienate LGBTQ+ survivors who may already feel isolated. As a therapist, my goal is to be a safe, affirming resource for LGBTQ+ individuals who are experiencing or have experienced IPV. I provide trauma-informed care, tailored to the unique needs of LGBTQ+ survivors, and work alongside my clients to help them regain their sense of safety, autonomy, and empowerment. Taking the First Step If you or someone you know is experiencing intimate partner violence, it’s important to know that you don’t have to face it alone. Therapy can provide a vital space for understanding, healing, and building the tools needed to break free from cycles of abuse. I’m here to support you every step of the way. Together, we can navigate the complexities of intimate partner violence and find the path toward safety and healing. Book a consultation today, and let’s start this journey together. Here are two key resources in the Los Angeles and West Los Angeles area that offer support specifically for LGBTQ+ individuals experiencing intimate partner violence (IPV): 1. Los Angeles LGBT Center - STOP Violence Program The Los Angeles LGBT Center provides comprehensive support for LGBTQ+ individuals experiencing intimate partner violence, domestic violence, and hate crimes through their STOP Violence Program. This program offers crisis counseling, legal advocacy, safety planning, and emergency housing. The center also has a court-approved batterer intervention program and services designed specifically for LGBTQ+ survivors. 2. City of West Hollywood -  Domestic Violence and Intimate Partner Violence Resources The City of West Hollywood provides a comprehensive list of resources for those affected by domestic violence and intimate partner violence. The site includes information on crisis hotlines, shelters, counseling services, and legal support. It also features resources for LGBTQ+ individuals, highlighting the city's commitment to inclusivity and support for all community members. The page serves as a vital guide to accessing immediate help, understanding one's rights, and finding ongoing support and advocacy within West Hollywood. References Brosi, M. W., & Carolan, M. T. (2006). Therapist response to clients’ partner abuse: Implications for training and development of marriage and family therapists. Contemporary Family Therapy , 28(1), 111–130.   https://doi.org/10.1007/s10591-006-9698-z Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2022, October 11). Fast facts: Preventing Intimate Partner Violence . Retrieved from   https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/intimatepartnerviolence/fastfact.html County of Los Angeles Public Health. (2020, March). Intimate Partner Violence: A Data Snapshot .   http://publichealth.lacounty.gov/dvcouncil/resources/docs/snapshot_0320.pdf Los Angeles LGBT Center. (2018, July). Report on Needs Assessment Findings: LGBT Victims of Violent Crime in the City of Los Angeles .   https://lalgbtcenter.org/images/Downloads/StopViolence/Report_on_Needs_Assessment_Findings.pdf Pallatino, C. L., Morrison, P. K., Miller, E., Burke, J., Cluss, P. A., Fleming, R., Hawker, L., George, D., & Chang, J. C. (2019). The role of accountability in batterers intervention programs and community response to intimate partner violence. Journal of Family Violence , 34(7), 631–643.   https://doi.org/10.1007/s10896-019-00050-6 Smith, S. G., Zhang, X., Basile, K. C., Merrick, M. T., Wang, J., Kresnow, M., & Chen, J. (2018). The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS): 2015 Data Brief - Updated Release . National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.   https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/2015data-brief508.pdf Whirry, R., & Holt, S. (2020, September). Finding Safety: A Report About LGBTQ Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault . Los Angeles LGBT Center.   https://stopviolence.lalgbtcenter.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/Finding_Safety.pdf

As a caregiver, especially a parent, I know how challenging it can be to juggle responsibilities while ensuring the well-being of our children. What we often overlook, however, is our own emotional health, which plays a crucial role in the mental well-being of the teens in our lives. At Dawn Holiski Therapy, I focus on supporting not just individuals but entire families, because when we, as caregivers, take care of ourselves, we can better support those who rely on us. Recent research has highlighted a startling connection: parents and caregivers are struggling with anxiety and depression at rates similar to teens. In fact, according to a 2023 study, around 20% of mothers and 15% of fathers report anxiety or depression—similar to the statistics for teens. This overlap in emotional health is significant because when one member of the family struggles, others often do too. At my practice, I see this firsthand and work with families to ensure that both caregivers and teens receive the care they need (Weissbourd et al., 2023). How My Mental Health Impacts My Teen If you’re like me, you care deeply about your teen’s emotional well-being. But sometimes, our own struggles with anxiety or depression can unintentionally affect them. Research shows that teens with anxious or depressed parents are more likely to experience mental health challenges themselves (Weissbourd et al., 2023). For example, depressed parents may find it harder to provide consistent emotional support, and teens may, in turn, feel more anxious or misunderstood. That’s why it’s so important for us as caregivers to address our own mental health. Doing so not only helps us but also creates a healthier environment for our teens to thrive. Steps I Can Take to Improve My Family's Emotional Health At Dawn Holiski Therapy, I offer support tailored to both caregivers and teens. Here are some practical steps we can take together to foster healthier dynamics in our families: Empathetic Listening : Teens often just want to be heard. I help parents develop empathetic listening skills that allow us to connect more deeply with our children. Sometimes, just listening without jumping to fix things can make all the difference (Weissbourd et al., 2023). Prioritizing Self-Care : As caregivers, it’s easy to put our needs last. I guide parents through stress management techniques, mindfulness exercises, and self-care routines that help manage anxiety and depression. When we take care of ourselves, we’re better equipped to take care of others (Weissbourd et al., 2023). Strengthening Communication : Many of the issues I see in therapy come from a disconnect between parents and teens. My sessions are designed to help both parties bridge that gap by fostering open, non-judgmental communication. Together, we can break down barriers and reduce misunderstandings​​. Two-Generation Therapy : At my practice, I also focus on supporting families through two-generational therapy. This approach addresses the emotional needs of both caregivers and teens simultaneously, helping to alleviate anxiety and depression for the entire family (Weissbourd et al., 2023). Why It's Important to Seek Help I know from personal experience how hard it can be to balance caregiving with mental health. We’re often so focused on our children that we forget to check in with ourselves. But taking care of our mental health is not a luxury—it’s a necessity. When we seek help for ourselves, we also help our teens by modeling healthy behaviors and creating a more supportive home environment. If you’re struggling with anxiety, depression, or just feeling overwhelmed, I’m here to help. At Dawn Holiski Therapy, I provide compassionate, evidence-based therapy designed to uplift both you and your family. Together, we can work toward a healthier, more connected family life. Helpful Resources for Caregivers Here are some resources that I recommend to help you navigate mental health challenges: Anxiety & Depression Association of America (ADAA) : Offers extensive information and resources on managing anxiety and depression, including free peer-to-peer support communities. National Institute of Mental Health : Provides helpful insights into mental health disorders and available treatments. Jed Foundation Calming Strategies : Calming techniques to help manage stress, which can be useful for both parents and teens. At Dawn Holiski Therapy, I’m committed to supporting caregivers like you. By focusing on your well-being, we can ensure that you have the emotional resilience to care for your teen. Reach out today, and let’s take the first step together toward a healthier, happier family. References Weissbourd, R., Batanova, M., Laski, M., McIntyre, J., Torres, E., & Balisciano, N. (2023). Caring for the caregivers: The critical link between parent and teen mental health . Making Caring Common.   https://mcc.gse.harvard.edu/reports/caring-for-the-caregivers

As a parent, it’s natural to wonder whether your teenager is simply going through the normal ups and downs of adolescence or if they might need additional support. While the teenage years come with a lot of emotional changes, sometimes these challenges go beyond what they can handle on their own. You might be asking yourself: How do I know when it’s time to seek professional help? Here are some signs that can help guide you. 1. Significant Changes in Behavior Teens are often testing boundaries and exploring their identity, but when you notice drastic changes in their behavior, it’s worth paying closer attention. If your teen has become withdrawn, is no longer engaging in activities they once loved, or is experiencing frequent mood swings, they could be struggling with something deeper. These shifts in behavior can signal underlying emotional distress, and this is where a therapist can help them navigate through it. 2. Struggles at School or with Friends Teenagers spend a lot of their time at school or with their friends, so when there are sudden changes in these areas, it can be an indicator that they need support. If your teen’s grades are slipping, they seem to lose focus, or they’ve started isolating themselves from their peer group, it could be a sign of stress, anxiety, or even depression. As a therapist, I help teens develop the skills they need to manage these challenges and build stronger connections. 3. Expressions of Hopelessness or Self-Harm It’s heartbreaking when a teenager expresses feelings of hopelessness or talks about self-harm, but these moments need to be taken seriously. If your teen has expressed feelings of worthlessness, talked about harming themselves, or mentioned suicide, this is a clear signal to seek immediate help. These signs, even when subtle, show that they are overwhelmed, and therapy can provide them with a safe space to express these emotions and receive the care they need. 4. Changes in Sleeping or Eating Habits Teens often go through phases with sleep or appetite, but ongoing changes like sleeping too much, not enough, or drastic shifts in eating habits might be signs of something more. If your teen is frequently exhausted, not eating well, or has experienced sudden weight changes, this could be their body’s way of responding to emotional struggles. Therapy can help uncover the root of these changes and guide them toward healthier routines. 5. Difficulty Managing Emotions Everyone experiences difficult emotions, but if your teen is consistently overwhelmed by stress, anger, or sadness and can’t seem to manage these feelings, it might be time for professional support. Therapy can give them the tools to regulate their emotions in a healthier way, so they don’t feel like they’re being controlled by them. 6. Substance Use It’s not uncommon for teens to experiment with substances, but if you notice frequent or increasing use of drugs or alcohol, this could be a way they are trying to cope with their emotions. Substance use can mask deeper issues like anxiety, trauma, or depression. Therapy provides a safe space for your teen to explore these issues without judgment and learn healthier ways to cope. 7. Identity Struggles The teenage years are often a time for exploring identity, but for some teens, this can feel especially confusing or isolating. LGBTQ+ teens, in particular, may face unique challenges with their sexual or gender identity, and they might benefit from a therapist who understands these experiences. As someone who specializes in working with teens exploring their identity, I can help your child feel seen, supported, and validated as they navigate this journey. 8. Trauma or Major Life Changes If your family has gone through a significant change—like a divorce, a move, or the loss of a loved one—it can be difficult for a teenager to process their emotions. Even if they seem fine on the surface, these events can have a deep emotional impact. Therapy offers them a space to process their feelings in a way that feels safe and manageable. When It’s Time to Reach Out If any of these signs resonate with you, it might be time to consider therapy for your teen. As a therapist with a background in both clinical psychology and creative approaches, I provide a compassionate and non-judgmental environment where your teen can explore their emotions and find tools to navigate their challenges. My goal is to help them build resilience and gain the confidence they need to thrive. If you’re ready to take that next step, I’m here to help. Reach out to me today, and let’s work together to support your teen’s well-being.