Reframing Anxiety for Neurodivergent Brains

What Is Anxiety, Really? (A Real Talk Moment)

Anxiety gets a bad rap. It’s often seen as something broken inside you — a flaw to fix. But in reality, anxiety is just your nervous system doing its job: keeping you safe by sounding the alarm when something feels off.

For neurodivergent brains, though, that alarm can go off more often. Not because something’s wrong with you — but because the world wasn’t built with your sensory system, processing style, or emotional patterns in mind.

“An abstract illustration of a colorful brain, symbolizing how neurodivergent minds experience and respond to anxiety in unique and meaningful ways.

• In ADHD, anxiety can stem from struggles with planning, staying organized, or managing time — often leading to missed deadlines, chaotic environments, and misunderstandings.

• In autism, anxiety frequently grows from sensory overload, changes in routine, and the exhausting effort of social masking.

• In sensory processing differences, even just being in a room that’s too loud, too bright, or too busy can trigger a feeling of overwhelm.

  
  

Anxiety isn't weakness. It's communication.

Anxiety Isn’t Random — It’s a Signal

For many neurodivergent folks, anxiety doesn’t just show up out of nowhere. It builds, slowly, because the environment often doesn’t match what your brain and body need to feel safe.

Fluorescent lights buzzing overhead.

A crowded room where every voice blends into chaos.

The constant expectation to "just be normal."

You’re not overreacting.

Of course your system is sounding the alarm.

It’s not random.

It’s your nervous system waving a flag, saying: "Hey, something here isn’t okay."

Instead of fighting anxiety — which usually just turns the volume up — what if we paused and got curious?

• What is my anxiety trying to tell me?

• Where am I being pushed past my limits?

• What needs care right now?

These are the kinds of questions we explore together in therapy — gently, at your own pace.

(It’s Not About Fixing — It’s About Listening)

When I meet a new client navigating anxiety alongside neurodivergence — ADHD, autism, sensory differences, or anything else — one of the first things I say is something I wish someone had told me sooner:

You’re not broken.

You’re not something that needs fixing.

You’re someone who deserves to be understood.

As someone who works with neurodivergent folks, I see how easy it is to internalize the idea that anxiety is a "problem" — a glitch to be silenced or erased.

But what if it’s not? What if anxiety isn’t a flaw at all? What if it’s a messenger?

The Cost of Masking (and Why It’s So Exhausting)

If you grew up without a diagnosis — or without the kind of support you deserved — you might have learned to mask: hiding the parts of yourself that didn’t fit.

Masking helps you survive.

But it also quietly drains you.

It disconnects you from your real self.

It leaves you wondering:

"What if they find out I’m struggling more than they think?"

"What if I’m not doing it ‘right’?"

Research shows that masking — especially among autistic and ADHD individuals — is linked to higher rates of anxiety, depression, and burnout.

One client once told me masking felt like "wearing a heavy winter coat all summer long — just to fit in." It’s protective, but exhausting.

Unmasking doesn’t happen overnight — and it shouldn’t.

In therapy, we work on it slowly, compassionately, and always at your own pace. Because who you are underneath the mask is someone worth knowing, worth honoring, and worth protecting.

Listening to Your Anxiety — Not Fighting It

One of the most powerful shifts we work toward is moving from battling anxiety to listening to it.

Sometimes anxiety says: "This space is too loud, too bright, too much."

Sometimes it whispers: "You’re carrying more than you can handle."

And sometimes it screams: "Please — slow down. I can't keep going like this."

When we stop seeing anxiety as something "bad" and start honoring it as a guide, everything starts to change.

• You begin to trust your inner voice again.

• You start to believe your own experiences.

• You realize: You’re not broken. You’re wise.

  
  

Tiny Acts of Self-Compassion Are Enough

Healing doesn’t have to look like a grand transformation. It can be tiny, quiet acts of self-kindness:

• Taking five minutes to stretch, stim, or step outside when your body says, "enough."

• Creating a small, sensory-friendly corner where you can decompress.

• Practicing saying "no" — even if your voice shakes a little.

• Working with a therapist who sees your neurodivergence as a strength, not a flaw.

  
  

Each small step toward yourself is a revolution. Each act of listening is a way of coming home.

Healing isn’t about becoming a "better version" of yourself. It’s about becoming more yourself.

You Are Not Broken — You Are Incredibly Brave

Living with anxiety — especially when the world wasn’t designed for your nervous system — takes immense courage.

Every day, you’re moving through spaces that weren't built with you in mind. You're adapting. You're creating your own ways of surviving — and thriving — in a world that often asks too much.

In my practice, I don’t see anxiety as a sign you’re failing.  I see it as an invitation:

• To slow down.

• To listen deeper.

• To take your needs seriously — maybe for the first time.

If you’re ready to stop fighting yourself and start building real self-trust, I’d be honored to walk alongside you.

Ready to take the first step? 

Reach out today — you don’t have to do this alone.

Further Reading and Helpful Resources

If you’d like to learn more about the ideas behind reframing anxiety, here are some books and articles I recommend:

• Divergent Mind by Jenara Nerenberg 

  A powerful exploration of anxiety, sensory sensitivity, and thriving as a neurodivergent adult.

• Unmasking Autism by Dr. Devon Price 

  A compassionate guide to understanding masking, authenticity, and self-trust for autistic and neurodivergent individuals.

• The Polyvagal Theory by Dr. Stephen Porges 

  A fascinating look at how our nervous systems shape our feelings of safety, connection, and anxiety.

• Neuroqueer Heresies by Dr. Nick Walker 

  Brilliant essays on embracing neurodiversity, challenging outdated ideas about "normalcy," and reclaiming your story.

• Hull, L., Petrides, K. V., Allison, C., Smith, P., Baron-Cohen, S., Lai, M.-C., & Mandy, W. (2017). "Putting on my best normal": Social camouflaging in adults with autism spectrum conditions. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 47(8), 2519–2534.

  Research on Masking and Mental Health 

• The Highly Sensitive Person by Dr. Elaine Aron 

  Helpful for understanding sensory sensitivity and how overstimulation can lead to heightened anxiety.

Curious to learn more about how anxiety, neurodivergence, and self-compassion connect? These books and studies have been incredibly influential in my own practice and understanding — and they might offer you some new insights too.

I’ve created a Bookshop page featuring some of my favorite reads—resources I often return to with clients and in my own life. These books offer thoughtful, research‑backed insights and practical tools for navigating life’s challenges with more compassion and connection.

Purchases through my Bookshop page support my work and independent bookstores, which I deeply value as part of building healthy, connected communities.